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30 Jan

It used to be that you went to singles events or bars, or you might have been paired up by family, friends, or coworkers. The last time I was on online dating I met someone who I went out with for four months.

It was a crapshoot with lousy odds, considering the amount of time, energy, and effort expended compared with the number of people with whom you came into contact. There are now dating sites for Christians, Catholics, Jews, seniors, single parents, even the "casual" dater, and certainly more to come. Don’t let the anxious thoughts take over your mind. While it was difficult for me, I can say that for each person I meet, I find out something more about myself and what I want.

NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?

’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.

Chances are you’ve heard the lofty remarks about how online dating is somehow inferior, a belief supported by the notion that singles can only really find love when introduced by friends or via some sort of adorably contrived movie meet cute.

Of course, when you think about it, what seems more silly: joining a community of fellow looking-for-love singles, who are introduced to you based on potential compatibility?

With heart palpitating, I played his voicemail message. To them I reply, "If you're offended by this old-fashioned custom, then don't be shy about whipping out your wallet instead." In truth, it doesn't matter who forks over the cash as long as someone does it⎯fully. Taking someone out, being taken out...a rendezvous like this is sexy. There's a reason horny manakin birds do a moon dance and hippos spray their lovers with wet feces. Be happy you're not one of those female mites who kills her mother and brother while breeding. Then dare yourself to get though them all before coffee stains become visible in the cup. Be Exactly Who You are, Though This Means You'll Get Rejected After a slew of emails, Chris and I agreed to meet in front of a museum.

Connecting a search for love, romance, and intimacy with the internet needs to be done alertly, maturely, and cautiously. Jantz, Ph D is the founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE and an internationally recognized best selling author of over 26 books related to mental wellness and holistic recovery treatment. As time went on and I moved out, these issues went away and I found women who weren't bothered by that. I've been in this business for quite sometime and yes, there are ups and downs but, in the end it's totally worth the wait.

I have learned to be honest but not too honest and to reveal as much information as is necessary. The only catch is since there are now really a lot of them on the web, you must choose which one's for you and what works best.

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