Dating time management

16 Mar

Because LOVE is my highest value, and poly is so important to me, dating and making love are my biggest rocks. It’s important to schedule dyad time to be alone with your multiple lovers and sometimes even agree not to talk about work, kids or other lovers.

I schedule most dates in advance and am firm and protective when life tries to seduce me into me to doing other things. For example I have a weekly sacred sex ritual with my husband on Wednesdays and a bi-weekly daytime date with Jennifer (depending on where we are with our cycles and how we’re feeling we often decide ahead of time if it’s going to be lunch or sex.) Tahl and I schedule our dates when Jennifer is out with her boyfriend Jesse. Having lovers that all know about each other and even love each other, allows you to double up on dates.

I have a kid, a career, I write books and travel, and now a new reality TV show.

Inquiring minds want to know: how do I find time to date multiple lovers?

” Perfect place to start: This is based purely on anecdotal evidence but having had this conversation with many women, I have yet to meet one who doesn’t have a “checklist”. If she is receiving messages from hundreds of guys, she needs some kind of system to screen them.

The downside for you is that if you don’t meet some random item on her list, she is on to the next.

While you can't apply a one-size-fits-all response to sexual dating rules regardless of age or experience, professionals who have studied the topic say it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules - before the big date.

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"There's really no formula that I've encountered," says 28-year-old Andrew Reymer, a single resident of Baltimore, Maryland.

"It depends on how rapidly or slowly things progress." Joan Allen, a relationship expert, finds that baby boomers are far more likely to wait to have sex than younger daters.

"Especially among older people who went through the sexual revolution, with maturity they realize there are emotional consequences for getting involved in a sexual relationship," says Allen, author of Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.

According to the singles whom Allen has encountered, boomers generally play by far different dating rules than young, 20-something daters.

"I spoke with a young man in his early to mid-20s who told me that if he didn't have sex on the first or second night, he'd move on to the next person," she recalls.